Mr. Nasty

Mr. Nasty has been in my life since I met Stephen, 7 years ago. However, according to Stephen he dates back a few years before we met. Mr. Nasty hasn't always been nasty. He used to be a lovely, clean smelling, navy blue hat. Now he is a color for which there is no name and he stinks. No matter how many times I've run him through the washer he still stinks. I have sprayed him with Febreeze, added extra fabric softener to the wash but there is no eliminating his odor.

I will say, that despite all his unpleasantness, Mr. Nasty has added some positive things to my life. He has been a faithful lawn mowing companion to Stephen. Also, I can quickly find Stephen in a crowd if we are separated, not only because of Mr. Nasty's unique color, but also by the generous distance between Stephen and strangers (or friends) because of Mr. Nasty's eminating aroma.
I can also say that Stephen has been a loyal friend to Mr. Nasty. He has tried to bring him along on his head to many events where Mr. Nasty would be fashionably inapproriate. He has asked numerous times if "this looks okay" with wedding guest atire, church wear and even the occassional graduation shirt and tie. The answer is always "No."I have unsuccessfully tried to put Mr. Nasty into an early retirement more than once. My replacement choices, so far, have been met with less than desired responses.

"Thanks, this hat will look nice on the top shelf of my closet."

"Oh, good, if Mr. Nasty is ever in the wash, I can wear this one."

After meeting defeat a few times with Hat Gifts, I began hiding Mr. Nasty. But, every time he would call out to Stephen in his low, graveley voice. I feared the consequences of hiding him in the trash. So, Stephen would always find him. Mr. Nasty might disappear from my life for a few days, and once for a whole week, but it never stuck.

Mr. Nasty's replacement is young and inexperienced. He doesn't even have a name. But I know he will be a fast learner and become a trusted friend. Although, he will never be invited to a wedding or graduation I look forward to many casual occassions where The New Hat will accompany us.

Once adorned for lazy weekends, family barbeques and other casual events, Mr. Nasty, as of Father's Day 2008 has been retired. I know he will never completely leave my life, because Stephen could never send such a good friend to the dump. But at least he will be sent away to a dark corner in one of our closets.